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Materia Medica of
The AIDS Nosode
Mind Themes of the AIDS Nosode
Content, Serene, Relaxed, Confident
Elated, Floating, Ungrounded, Growing, Bubbles
Playful, Remembered childhood, Expansive
Extravagant, Wanton, Invulnerable, Reckless
Massive, Passive, Slow, Can't be bothered
Confused, Forgetful, Making mistakes
Insensitive, Withdrawn, Wants to be alone
Isolated, Frightened, Loss of identity
Content, Serene, Relaxed, Confident
A big struggle to cope with my son - emotional demands prove too much for me. Feel very close to friends. Decide to simplify my life by not encumbering it with charitable obligations. A feeling of resolution is dawning at last!
The phrase, 'youth, beauty, love,' kept repeating in my mind over and over again.
Very sharp today, got heaps of work done.
Unhurried and untroubled. I feel content and happy with the world - emotionally connected, much more settled.
I noticed last night that I was in and out of the room doing what I wanted to do and being part of the group as well.
I felt so positive. I suddenly felt strength, and it was like somebody had plonked my feet into the ground. As if someone had put a strengthening thing around my spine and I felt stronger and more together.
I feel self-sufficient and confident about doing my own thing.
I feel really good, and I feel part of the whole group.
Late for an appointment, which is unusual for me, normally I will panic at being late and rush so I'm not. Relaxed on the journey, I usually passenger with my foot clamped on an imaginary brake and end up with a tense headache.
I feel quite happy, really good, as if I have more energy.
I am enjoying being alone, usually I don't like to be alone, since the remedy I have been glad to be alone.
He has the feeling that there is more time for everything.
He has a lot of work on and is a bit 'stressed out', but even so he is feeling great.
I feel much calmer. When I arrived I was quite upset because I had just been told that a friend had died. I am concerned, but not in a way that feels overwhelming. I have also noticed that I am usually gabbling, and that has calmed down quite a lot.
While driving had an accident. Not had accident before, it threw me. I acted calmly. Just got back into my car, felt a bit kind of numb, shock state. Could have been more freaked out normally. Carried on driving OK. That evening drove to London for the first time, navigated on my own. Took on a lot. Reactions good when I had accident. In balance quite a positive reaction to accident.
I did sleep incredibly well the first two nights, which is unusual for me, especially when camping. I woke up quite early, and I felt quite wide awake, although I'd had little sleep. Usually I'd enjoy lying in for a bit, but I was wanting to get up. I was feeling terribly efficient, taking the tent down.
By the afternoon I felt above it all, serene, even rested... was able to listen to landlord being racist and let it pass over my head instead of getting worked up.
Boyfriend left for a few days. Normally I get lonely when this happens. This time, just about managed to say goodbye to him, very casual. Glad to be on my own. Feels nice, feels healthy.
Calm feeling. I do feel very calm, at ease.
Good connection with wife; talked about finding wholeness in the midst of feelings of separation and diversity. The need for spiritual wholeness is great. Synergy: through pursuing creative, enjoyable and relaxing spiritual pursuits together!
Cheerful and relaxed, emotionally very balanced all day. Concentration very good.
Getting on with more work.
He reports a continued feeling of well being. He is most enthusiastic about this remedy.
More balanced. Reduced inclination to punish myself mentally and physically through excessive physical exercise (running). Feel more relaxed around colleagues. Feel able to share openly and honestly about thoughts and feelings. Feeling more centred. Perhaps my healing has begun?
Felt very relieved, literally.
Had a feeling of great relaxation in my body - felt easy in my joints and in mood, that's how I was, more relaxed.
Peacefulness, mildness. A feeling of complete peace of mind. A feeling of oneness with my fellow man and the whole of the universe. I felt exceptionally close to my family and friends. All I could think of was: youth, beauty, peace. I felt vulnerable, that I needed someone to look after me. I felt like a child, but it was a good feeling.
Positive thoughts, confident, expansive, very sharp, feel my mind is more awake and more alert. I am getting on with more work. I feel that I have more time for everything. Easy concentration. I feel much more positive about myself, about my decisions, I don't need the approval of others.
Felt peaceful and untroubled all day. Feelings of emotional warmth towards my family.
Slow, relaxed, not very worried by anything. Very reasonable.
Easy concentration, feel content.
Spent this afternoon on my own, felt great.
He feels very good, as if he can tackle the whole world. His usual tiredness has totally disappeared.
Feels much better than he has done for years. He especially noticed the absence of hurry.
Feeling much more peaceful, there is more time for myself.
Everything in life works more perfectly. There is a new order in things.
Feel very fulfilled. Feeling my old self. Sexually and emotionally connected with wife.
Feel quite mentally 'sharp' today, and cope well with a large case load. Feel content and happy with the world.
Feel quite buoyant, laid back.
Feel happy and emotionally connected, though still too detached from wife. Not enough time, as ever.
Felt very connected to family and friends.
Elated, Floating, Ungrounded, Growing, Bubbles
I was reading someone's hand and the analogy I used was of a bubble in water and rising to the surface.
Feel great. Sing to myself in the street. Love being on my own.
Went to see a flat that I heard about yesterday, through someone at work. When I saw it, it felt like it could be home. It was a huge Jacobean manor house with loads of rooms, but I'd have my own space. I'd like to get it.
Feel good, high, excited, enthused about life.
I felt not completely divorced from what was happening but I felt small compared to the enormity of what was happening. The was a gentleness and a waftiness, and this was part of a bigger picture so that it was actually like an arty film.
Exaltation, elation.
Fluctuating between morose and high.
Got a new lover - my first for 5 years. Terrifying but exciting too.
I felt like I had to keep my feet on the ground, the only way to describe it would be a as a delusion really - a tribal one; Cheyenne with tepees and people and it was pleasant and the sensation was very, very real to me and I had to force myself to get in the car and drive it, and I had to keep myself grounded.
I was really conscious all night about having to remember my dreams and having to disentangle whether I was in a dream, whether it was a dream, that sort of half-conscious state.
On waking he saw a vertical blue strip. This changed into a big blue patch with dark blue spots and on the left side a light blue light. Also saw transparent blue squares like yesterday.
On waking, in half sleep state, sees beautiful green colours, dotted with yellow spots. It changes into green squares, edged with yellow. Then a dark blue background with light blue squares. He never saw this before. He sometimes used to see blue colours, but never in clear shapes like this.
Everything felt natural, tribal natural - like the south sea islands with water but natural bare foot and nothing much underneath with flowers but natural with white, green and water.
Very spacey.
This evening danced a lot, enjoyed it, felt like a free spirit, strong and independent.
When I was driving home I felt quite reckless, I had to keep on bringing myself back. It was a floaty sort of feeling and I had to remind myself that I was in control here.
There was a popping sensation - like a flower had formed a seed pod and then it popped and that was fun. It was a sensation like a bubble going up and then it popped and was all colourful, like a rainbow, and it left a wetness over everything. The growth thing, things coming out and then it popping.
I feel above it all, I feel that I am floating, I feel disconnected, I felt I had to ground myself, the world seems an exciting and strange place.
And then I saw an image. If you see something that is a circle in front of you, you can see the curve but I have the idea that it was something that was so big that you only see the flat bit of it, this image of, bars would be the wrong word, they were not as heavy as bars, more like black lines coming down nice and easy. Its very hazy and soft focus, and with a cream white background with the black bars coming down, not very fast. That image was very strong.
A sense of growing.
The image of the cloud that I saw was going to the left. The image was a billowy cloud and I had the sensation of being like the cloud and gradually in the middle there was an orange brown part and gradually the whole cloud started to feel more like a flower. It had a very gentle feel to it and gentle was the word that seemed to be coming over very strongly. Gentle and mild and very pleasant.
All senses heightened.
It seemed as if the grass was undulating and then it expanded a bit. The grass wafting around with the wind and changing colours in front of us.
Everyone I speak to on the phone says how perky and fun to be with I sound. I have been having low moments but they pass before I have time to get into a melancholy mood. Talked to a friend about my mother without even a tear in my eye - incredible!
I feel full of get-up-and-go, anything seems possible. Full of drive, steaming through my commitments. I feel less deluged with demands, it's more than that I can cope, there is enough time to do everything it's necessary to do. A bit more relaxed.
Moods fluctuating/vacillating between morose and exhilaration.
During meditation: suddenly felt my energy body rising above my physical body, then my head opened and golden angels ascend from it, forming a powerful choir above me. The scene disappeared as quickly as it came.
Spoke to a friend on the phone, who said 'what's happened to you? You're like a different woman - all high and giggly, like a space cadet'. It's true, I feel above it all, as if the harsh realities of the world can't touch me, they just register and bounce off.
What attracted me to that fish was that it was caught off West Coast of Canada - this made me want it. Imagined in my mind that the fish was wild and clean and from a wonderful pollution free environment.
Playful, Remembered childhood, Expansive
Exhilaration, frivolity.
There was a sense of frivolity of fun, of wanting to play.
Burst into tears of relief and joy at some good news. Felt at one with my brother yet very alone. Very strong recollections of unhappy childhood. Sadness and suffering at the hands of unaware foster parents. Feel very happy though, and realize the only way to live is through creativity, catharsis and joy. Very strong feelings of empathy and sense of change being possible in our lifetimes in relation to our children.
I've been travelling psychically through a lot of very early childhood stuff.
Within 5 or 10 minutes, I felt stoned, numb around the mouth, heady, giggly, talkative. This lasted for half an hour, then I got very sleepy.
Journeying into the past, remembering childhood experiences.
Feeling provocative or niggly or persecuted in some way. I felt playful in the extreme. I am playful anyway, but after the remedy, I felt very playful. If I could give you an image. You have all spoke about houses and rooms; it was as if I had moved. I had fully moved into my house and I can go right up to the window of my house. This isn't a dream or anything, this is an image. Whereas some people are saying they felt persecuted so they would go back into themselves, I actually felt quite safe to go right up to my very extremities and what the hell, it doesn't matter what people say and I can go right up to the window and right into the bay and move right round. So it is the opposite of what everyone is saying.
I felt that there were people who just went terribly serious and I had to move right back from anybody who was serious because the message was that life is too short and the house is too big. Let's explore every room. A very expansive feeling. But I didn't feel critical about it, which probably I would be, so that was unusual. I didn't feel 'aren't they being miserable'.
Journeying back to childhood - childhood memories.
Recollections of the past; school and unhappy childhood. Emotionally open and relaxed.
Extravagant, Wanton, Invulnerable, Reckless
I wanted to do something wanton and sensual and extravagant, last night I felt frustrated - I wanted to swim naked in the sea or ride a horse naked or something naked.
Normally feel easily rejected, now feel great. I was singing to myself in the street, loved being on my own. I felt like doing something mischievous. I wanted to do something naked and extravagant. I had no embarrassment with nakedness.
This is a big deal for me - it feels as though barriers between me and other people can come down with this man. (Talking about new relationship.)
Feelings of empathy. Desire to share honestly and with feeling.
Feeling weepy. Things are getting to me. Normally couldn't give a damn about such things.
I try not to get too involved in the people that I see in my job, but today I was really touched by an old lady's plight, and spent a long time on the phone sorting things out for her. Completely beyond my brief, but I felt really sorry for her.
Everything still looking crystal clear. All senses, hearing/smell heightened.
Massive, Passive, Slow, Can't be bothered
Feels listless, can't concentrate in the afternoon.
A hugely busy day at work, but no trouble coping. Emotionally much more settled - even too settled - I find myself driving very slowly and sort of dreaming my way through the day, but still concentrating on the essentials.
Doesn't have enough time to do everything he wants to do.
Feel well, although I do seem much slower than my usual pace. I feel like I've more time. I've laid on the sofa and just let my mind wander - have not felt I had the time to do this for about 18 months.
I had a very strong image of an elephant and the feeling was a gentleness and a passivity but also this enormous physical structure.
I had a feeling of slow motion and gentle movement - very dreamy - the thing that I kept feeling was this sense of enlargement rather like when you are delirious and your hands are big.
I felt that, again on the left side, in my brain, like I had this sort of lump or something heavy, that was acting like a plumb line all through my body., I felt as though I was totally calm and centred; grounded. A feeling of a lump of something heavy in my brain, but it felt like a line all the way through.
Mentally very slow.
Can't be bothered with anything, would like to lie down and read, - something sedentary.
Still very slow, don't seem to be able to rush around, not worried about being on time or finishing a job.
Very slow, though very relaxed.
Whilst reading a story to daughter, felt quite ill, voice seemed at a distance, felt oppressed, hot, slow. Better lying down.
Listless in afternoon and evening.
While we were sitting in the circle I became quite convinced that the person on my right hand side, was actually a very large feather duvet and I had that feeling like when you get too hot in bed and my left side was quite cool, as if it was sitting out of the duvet and felt fine. But the right hand side was hot, light, frothy and prickly hot.
Exquisite and precious mental pain - I had no shell for protection.
Weepy - ridiculous, pathetic.
Felt very exposed - I had no shell to protect me.
Over sensitive. Exceptionally sympathetic to the point of tears - weepy. 'Things are getting to me, usually couldn't give a damn - I am feeling very fragile.'
Feel quite anxious, but happy in my work and life.
In the afternoon, sitting in car, I felt very small in the world, like a speck - trees were towering above - felt almost pressed back in my seat. Lasted about half an hour.
Short staffed at work, having to work 6 days this week. Resent it a bit (the working). Used to be able to say when I was to work. Feel less assertive.
Feelings of being awkward and shy - averse company and talking.
The remedy initially made me feel really good, happy and there was so much clarity. The initial high feeling gradually wore off. I didn't like the busy, anxious dreams, the very bad period pains and bleeding, the skin eruptions on my face, the lack of libido, turning into a weak person - on the mental level, being forgetful. It seemed to push me into the polarity state of what I really am. I'm disappointed at antidoting remedy but could not leave it any longer.
Lacking in self confidence.
I felt that I had lost my wall, my protection and my shell, and there was a free flow of emotions both in and out. I was exposed, almost naked, with no control.
Began to panic about being rejected in the middle of the night. Panic lasted all day. Feel in need of loads of reassurance.
Mentally very tired, anxious to get things done quickly. Feelings of financial insecurity.
Started talking about how I felt, really emotional and in a strange state. All came out from being calm. Ended up really crying. Boyfriend said I seemed stressed and uptight and a bit odd. Sobbing and feeling weird about life all of a sudden. All confused. Insecure, weepy and depressed.
First evening alone for a long time and I don't like it. Really clingy. Crying when man quoted price of a new boiler. Very unusual for me, usually laid back about such matters.
Encountering new people face to face, felt awkward and shy. Didn't feel comfortable with superficial small talk. Imagined everything I said sounded wrong, gabbling.
The food thing is where it focuses for me. When we have our meals together I feel that I am getting this childhood thing; I am being nourished. And this morning I left my lodgings without having breakfast deliberately for the pleasure of coming here and having breakfast with everyone and lighting the fire.
What a horrible day. Car battery flat, went into 'it's the end of the world' syndrome - dependent, nobody loves me. Cried. Struggled on against desire to go home and howl. Later, much help offered and problem resolved. Felt the universe was on my side again.
Going down into the hold with all the people (to disembark from ferry). I had a vision of it being like my dream of the cinema stairway. In the hold hundreds of us had to squeeze past lorries etc., to get up to the car and the front. Began to feel panicky again. Palpitations, breathing fast. Felt threatened, wanted out but had to keep going. Great to get out. Dreading trip back, trying not to think about it.
In the bunk bed in the cabin (ferry trip to Ireland) felt slightly panicky. Had to stop myself thinking disastrous thoughts, kept telling myself that I could just get up, open the door and go up on deck. Slept very little, very restless, hot legs returned.
Emotionally connected. However, when homework returned, due for repeat, felt absolutely crestfallen - thrown into a state of sheer panic and feelings of failure, inadequacy, and anxiety (heart palpitations). Feelings were around fear of authority (elders, institutions, school, judgement) also very emotional.
Was 'wiped out' by the period. Could do no work. Just laid in the garden all afternoon. Slight feelings of guilt about it.
What I have been noticing is that I want someone else to feed me. It is very difficult for me to feed myself at the moment, as if I am a helpless infant in a cradle. And I've also been reading a midwifery book, which makes me cry nearly every page, but I still have to read it and so the idea of very early childhood is quite strong for me at the moment.
Seizure of panic in a management meeting (heart palpitations).
Feel pretty sorry for myself, with some justification I think! (Suffering from an acute.)
During bilious attack. Felt miserable and shaky too ill to light a fire or make a cup of tea. Just lay in bed with the radio turned down, almost too low to hear so that it didn't irritate me Why do they have to speak so loud? A can't cope feeling. I need someone to look after me but can't bring myself to ask - too much effort.
Confused, Forgetful, Making mistakes
A bit sad today, can't work out why.
Lethargy and confusion - feels that she has forgotten something, or to do something.
At work I nearly gave someone the wrong animal after its operation. The weekend girl put two black/white cats in the wrong cages. I should have been more careful, it was my responsibility. Felt bad about it.
Bit distracted. Time has gone very quickly.
Cannot concentrate on studying in the afternoon and evening.
Concentration poor.
Continually sensing that I have forgotten something or forgotten to do something.
Feel very confused.
Inability to formulate thoughts and words properly.
This forgetfulness is not me. Usually very organized. Also finding I lose words. Know what I want to say but the odd word just vanishes.
Forgetfulness. Forgot any clean pants. Put my top on back to front. Realized that I had put my trousers on back to front as well.
Mind going completely blank.
Forget immediately that which I have just done or seen, brushed teeth, poured water for tea, etc.
Keep forgetting things. Forgetful of things I normally remember.
I am working very slowly and carefully, otherwise I would be making mistakes because my mind is just not on my work.
Felt exhausted and confused. Very emotional exchange with a client. Immense feelings of empathy. Felt like praying and crying.
Frustrated about authority issues. Feelings of anger - desire independence.
Felt nervy and uptight today, same feelings as before.
I found that I was very restless last night - noise was intensified - I couldn't sit with the others.
Restless generally.
Feels very restless.
Feels continuously restless inside.
Feels very hazy, as if floating, and restless. His first impression was that his dreams were 'more coherent'.
Woke irritable, tired and heavy. Then energetic and jolly until after lunch. Despondency about finding a house set in - weepy in the afternoon. Difficult to study.
Feel emotionally negative during headache.
Felt very angry with husband this morning. I am going to divorce him and live on my own with the children. These was no provocation - it's just how I feel. In the afternoon, don't feel angry, feel discontented; my husband is quite an anxious person, he tends to pass a lot of anxiety on to me; I feel like I've carried his anxiety for too long.
Great feelings of anger and impatience, triggered by having to wait one and a half hours for an appointment.
Depressed and irritated at this course of events.
Make lots of mistakes on the computer today, and get bloody irritable about it!
Feeling irritable.
Weepy, worse admonition. My husband came in and I was about to use the telephone and he said 'You are not about to use the phone again are you?' So I felt guilty, huffy and did not phone.
For some reason I am really irritable today, mostly at inanimate objects: the car, packaging on a packet of biscuits, the computer and so on. Glad to get into bed at the end of the day without smashing something.
Went in to work an hour later than they asked me to. I just did not want to be there. Worked 1.00 until 8.45. Felt myself getting more and more irritable with people telephoning the vets.
Later that day found I was getting very irritated by the clients at work, I did not want to be there doing that job. Went home and was irritable with husband. Why?
Running on automatic pilot. Feel pissed off.
Insensitive, Withdrawn, Wants to be alone
Desire for space and time to reflect and be myself.
Felt very withdrawn.
I really want my own space, but don't have it. I want to spend time on my own, have my own home.
Felt quiet and withdrawn in morning, felt different to others again. Wanted solitude, couldn't get it. I usually like company. What was very noticeable with me was that immediately after the remedy I felt light and laughing, and very, very sociable and things were hilarious. I started off really laughing and then all of a sudden something sort of kicked in and dropped down and I felt incredibly serious, even when others were just laughing and laughing. Incredibly serious. Kind of nice. A kind of calm serious. And I went very, very introverted and generally I have been feeling very unlike my usual 'desire for company' self. I felt like I wanted to be alone and I've been going off on my own and feeling really good about being on my own. Normally, that is not that comfortable a feeling for me. But I actually feel a great strength in me now; a real desire for it. It has been very different.
Want to get away from everyone. When on my own want to be with everyone again.
Absence of sensitivity towards others.
Had the desire to be alone. Felt different to and separate from other people. Felt very individual.
I feel rather uncommunicative, as if I were winding down.
One of my patients came round to see me because she was forsaken. I didn't notice she was forsaken - unusual. Didn't pick it up. She did not actually say she was forsaken. Came round next day and told me. I had not picked it up.
Isolated, Frightened, Loss of identity
During the day he had a strange feeling while the spindryer was making a lot of noise. He suddenly felt 'I don't belong here at all'.
I had just had a vision of a black hole in the distance, with a sort of spider webbing coming out of it.
Felt distant from wife. Feelings of abandonment and lack of love. Feel there is not enough time for closeness and intimacy. Aggravated by paperwork at office.
Telephoned a friend. Another friend (my best friend) was in background of conversation but did not speak to me. Felt hurt by that.
The first thing I noticed after taking the remedy was before hand I had been very sociable and after taking the remedy and about 10 or 15 minutes after, I started to feel very self conscious and kind of almost paranoid and I went and sat in the corner. I wanted to defend myself in a way that I hadn't thought about but I didn't really want any contact with people for about an hour. Very soon after taking the remedy.
Not connecting with people - feelings of isolation - felt, 'nobody loves me'.
Feelings of loss, abandonment. Resolve to take each day as it comes.
Mind going completely blank. 'Lost all sense of identity - didn't know who I was, found this experience very frightening, I burst into tears.'
Normally happy not to see much of my boyfriend. Now want to be with him all the time, missing him. Not normal for me.
Decided to separate from partner in last two days. Feelings? - relief and fear.
I imagined everything I said was wrong - that I had offended someone - that I had committed some sort of faux pas - that I was gabbling.'
In the middle of the night on the ferry felt fear as the boat encountered rough weather, imagined it sinking and felt a great fear of death (more than normal).
At the weekend I kept missing people, not connecting. Felt people were picking on me, felt isolated.
Missing girlfriend, feel lonely.
Fear of authority, adults, schooling. Feelings of powerlessness, sensitivity, vulnerability, failure.
Anxious and disconnected. Yearning for I know not what - love, fun, peace!
Its a very closed sensation as if I've been closed out. A feeling of being shut out as if the door - like a rebound, very powerful at the time, almost as if someone has hit me there but obviously it is not a physical blow, it is very much on the energy level.
Felt that people were plotting against me.
Woke at 12.30, felt frightened, felt someone following me (on going to loo).
Felt very strong fear of heights when visiting the cliffs. Lay down and looked over the edge, even while lying down felt great terror (much more than usual) and a mistrust of people behind me, as if they might push me over the edge. (Unusual).
Oversensitive really. Things are going wrong. Normally I take them in my stride. Been pathetic. What's the matter with me? Suspicious. Nobody loves me. Not normally like this.
I was bitten on the arm by a cat, bites usually go very septic on me so I dabbed hypercal straight on it.
Felt lied to, angry, frustrated.
I had the feeling of being picked on. I got really close to people as if I could see them really clearly, and I wanted to meet them in the group. And the feeling I had was that no one would come to meet me and I felt very closed and unhappy. I felt this frustration that no one was coming to play and I could see N in the corner and he just wasn't available, so that all I had for me was to go in the kitchen and just play. So I did. But ever since then felt this other side got picked on. I felt that everyone was watching me and really isolated. And I think 'persecuted' is too strong, but everyone was getting at me. And lots of people came to me and said 'well, look, sorry for offending you'.
Feelings of Paranoia. 'Felt that a door was slammed shut in my chest.' 'Felt like I was being lied to.' 'Felt every one was talking about me in an unkind way.' Suspicious. Mistrustful.
Felt people did not like me. With people but had feeling they did not like me. Sitting there and not wanting to be sociable. Feeling they don't like me. Not like me at all.
Thought people might think I'm a bit strange. In the morning thought I'd committed some faux pas. - Unusual for me.
Feeling a bit lacking in self confidence. Feeling like people are looking at me and saying 'she's no good'.
Felt picked on. Very easily offended. Everyone is watching me, flush very easily. Feel vulnerable. Desire to be on my own but can't do it. I want people but I don't want the limelight. One person said aggressively 'Have you got a problem'. I started shaking.
Had this idea that my hay-fever is about being under attack, worse when I am not taken seriously. It is about me not identifying correctly external changes in the environment; only having one set of responses to this type of situation. I have to expel it violently, physical, mental, emotional.
At work they had forgotten my birthday. No card, present or even a verbal message. Felt upset but said it didn't matter. It annoyed me because I am the one who organizes the others' cards and presents. They did not think or care. Didn't mind no card but it's the fact that they didn't care.
I wanted to kill everyone.
Dream themes of the AIDS nosode.
Travel, Boats, Trains, Planes, Buses
Exotic placesSexual Affairs, Ex-boy/girlfriends, Erotic
Violence, Threatening, Frightening, Fire
The dreams of the AIDS proving were exceptionally powerful and, while they were very strongly themed, most dreams contained more than one theme and so are not easily classified.
A Georgian terrace on a high pavement and I had a smaller apartment within this large house, but I remember there were lots of weird things going on with drug dealers, threats and violence and I had big, strong male friends and I took them up there to protect me but the drug dealers had gone. The house had a top layer which I left derelict so that nobody would suspect that on the basement level I had a beautiful house, so half of it was derelict and half of it was really beautiful downstairs. I don't usually remember dreams and it was distinctive.
Dreamt of a house with banisters and lots of stairs.
Walking upstairs in House of Commons through enormous rooms, grand, ornate decor - out of another time. Large rooms, wooden panels. Very big and airy. Felt good. Nobody there.
Dreams about a big, old neglected house, which he recognized as a house belonging to an old school friend. In his dream this house had a secret staircase, from where he could spy on everyone. He was spying on his sister who had an important meeting. The meeting was about a mortgage, which she deserved to get. There were other, unknown children watching with him, and it felt as if they had a common secret bond. There was great excitement and anticipation about whether his sister would get this deal.
The stairs were very large in the house in my dream.
A huge, huge mansion house in the middle of a park where you drive up to it. I was buying a smaller flat within this huge house.
Big palatial house, used to be very grand, now very ramshackle and being restored by new owners. Striking pictures in the house, modern prints, very, very large - very ornate with large frames, colours stunning and very rich. Woke feeling as if I had eaten a very nice meal.
A house by a station. Lots of people about. The station was built on top of a roof. It was in a very rundown state. There was a hill leading up to it and a rough fence all around it. made of wooden paling held together with wire, I think they call it sheep fencing. I met a very scruffy chap and I said to him, 'Where are you living now?' I was some sort of authority figure, a teacher perhaps. He said, 'I live underneath'. We went down to his place. It looked derelict outside, rundown, and I thought, 'nobody could live inside'. But inside it was like a palace. There was a huge hall and lots of lovely antique furniture. It was beautiful. I asked him, 'How much do you pay rent for this?' It seems he was allowed to live there by the owner. In the house was a very nice piano - just the right size for our house. I asked him if he thought the owner would sell it. He said he doubted it. He lifted the top of the piano and inside it was a bit like an old radiogram, but it was a CD player. As I looked at it, it shrank and became a wooden cased CD player - modern machinery.
I went to a house with the possibility of buying it. It was on the corner in an industrial estate with lots of scrap metal around, but it was only an ordinary house behind a very high wooden fence around it and there were no views because it was contained inside the fence. The house was like a Tardis because it was much larger inside. There was space in the hall and the staircase and the landings were wide and the view from the lounge was of pretty gardens and the view from the upstairs rooms was a view of the rolling fields. It was in need of renovation, it was empty but it was tatty and it needed to be redecorated. My family were with me and there was a very contented feeling as if I was home. It was the difference between the little outside and the big inside that was strange.
The outside of a Georgian house with big square windows but they had a metal frame which is very unusual for sash windows. The dream was in Bath stone creamy colour.
There was this car, and there were lots of us in it and there was everyone that I knew, mostly my Hong Kong friends, and we all had our arms around each other and there was a lovely feeling of love, warmth and companionship, there were so many people in this one car, the top was open, the car was red, and we were driving along and we went to this house. There were lots of boxes in this house and very big rooms, but everything was decorated beautifully. There were chandeliers, beautiful furniture, beautiful paintings, antique carpets and there were railings and you just looked down and there was a great feeling of space. Underneath the house it looked as if there was something to do with mechanics. There were all these pipes and things like the mechanics for a swimming pool and I had a feeling of being shut out because there were these two girls who were friends that were organizing to do something and they didn't include me. This feeling of being shut out was the only negative thing, everything else was very positive and lovely.
House dream - Large shared house between whole bunch of people. Very rambling. Had to choose a room for myself. I wanted one close to staircase and living room. The first one had no windows. A kid on the bed. Drawers full of Barbie dolls. Didn't like it because it had no window. Going down a corridor - exactly like the inside of a passenger liner - old and plush type, lovely. Went back to the stairs, going too far from where I wanted to go. Had to shut my eyes and follow a thread of warmth that led straight ahead into a huge room with lots of windows all down the side. Lovely, light, wonderful. Still felt like a ship but overlooked trees and hills. It was a stately home type of place. Kids bouncing on the bed. I said 'Is this your room', 'No we are just playing'. So I thought: 'right this is my room.'
The room in my dream was big, in fact I couldn't see the walls clearly because they were all misty.
In a catholic church, very rich gold paintings, colours, statues.
I had a dream about a bit of childhood stuff. It was quite a vivid dream. It was travelling with people in a car, and when we got there I realized it was my parents' house. A lot of money had been spent on it in a garish way and I didn't like it. It had been sold to a family of Pakistanis. I could see through the window that about 30 of them were sitting around our dining room table, eating and I didn't like it. The house was very ornate and I didn't like it.
I dreamt that I had bought a block of flats and my brother was painting one of the apartments and I asked him before he went whether he wanted a sandwich and he didn't. We went all the way upstairs and he decided he wanted a sandwich and I was really cheesed off and had to go all the way down. He joined me and we slid all the way down on the banister. It was as if all the block of flats were taken up with stairs and there was nothing else there. It was huge, all stairs. There were no shops that sold sandwiches for miles and miles.
It was a dream in which I didn't appear at all. And that's very unusual for me. It was as if I was watching a film, a story, and it was about a boy and his father... it might not have been his real father. They were in a Dickensian-like squalid hotel. The hotel room was very bare and not very nice. The father showed the boy a diary that his unknown mother had kept, and all of a sudden I became the boy. For a moment I couldn't understand the diary, it was in a sort of code but it was very significant. It was about my origins and my parentage. Then suddenly I was watching again. The father gave the boy some magical gifts from the mother and these were very special significant things. The first thing was a sword in a jewelled holder and they hid it under the bed so that no one else would see because it was a special magic sword. Then there were magic blue boxing gloves with which the boy could knock anyone out. There was also a bejewelled broach - and that was significant but I didn't know why. Then there was a magic golden key which could unlock or lock any door, Immediately it came in handy because suddenly the boy realized there was a madman outside the door with a knife. It was as if the boy could see through the door. The madman was standing at the door with the knife raised, and so the boy quickly locked the door so that he couldn't come in. The boy and the father realized that people would want to kill him and take his magic gifts, and that they had better leave. There was a feeling of pursuit and of people following - people out to kill... but interestingly, there was not any fear at all. It was exciting.
It was a large house and I had been living in it, but I wanted to move. Everything was made of wood. I had already shifted most of my belongings. There were a few boxes. Three people arrived, two women and a man. They had two huge wooden crates and were looking suspiciously around for somewhere to put them. I started talking to them, and told them that there was space in the house. They brought in these crates and opened them up. The crates had false centres that were packed full of treasure. There was gold dripping out and jewels and crowns. They were full of treasures and I was really excited - but I was moving out. I walked to the patio where there was my box which was full of old junk. The only things that I could recognize were some juggling balls.
The treasure was shown to me earlier in the dream - a medieval knight with a thick gold, very old, very beautiful wedding ring, that is just a part... there is more to be found.
I am mining in a desert country for rock crystals. I find only amethysts, which is a nuisance because I am looking for diamonds.
Dream of being trapped inside an amethyst crystal, but it's not unpleasant.
Back in house with Mum and stepfather, which they bought when I was 14 years old. Never had a dream in that house before, unusual.
In my dream my parents are moving house - I say : This time I want the room at the top not my old room (as a child I always wanted the room at the top of the house - I loved the eaves and it was by my parents room: but more importantly it was not next door to my brother's room - it would have been an escape from the place where he (and a gang of friends) had abused me). But my parents say 'It's okay'. I have a new room of my own this time and they show it to me. It is very large with lots of unexpected rooms coming off it - a bathroom, a study, etc.. These will need changing (the bathroom is yellow and the study has plush red seats - both I dislike and both we had at home when I was a child) but there is great potential for this new room. The main room has shelves full of clutter but I can see that amongst it are treasures - it just needs clearing and sorting. But best of all this room has a garden inside it - with a tree - again it needs attention but there is room for flowers, etc.. In my dream I am trying to paint the room - I have chosen dark colours - green/blue - this is unusual, I usually paint my rooms light colours. But after much work I see that there is all this old stuff under where I've painted - old wallpaper, cardboard, etc., it will all have to come off if I'm to do a really good job. My wonderful room leads out to the garden which is a mass of dark brown earth. My father says I have only this one day to dig for the treasure because tomorrow he has arranged to have it planted up and laid over. I realize I have 'wasted' all the day with the painting and that now it is dark and I will need someone to hold a lantern for me so that I can dig. It's going to be harder work because it's night but I have a shed full of tools behind me and I do have someone to help me.
I was organizing the renting of this peaceful old house and I had to choose people who I was going to live with. There were several old school friends that I hadn't thought about at all since I was nine/ten years old.
Dream of children.
He was a therapist and had as a patient a girl who wouldn't tell him her symptoms. Her father was trying to speak on her behalf, which she didn't like. He did continue to speak with the father, who said the underlying cause was 'always thinking he had forgotten to say something important'.
Horrible dream; I had a baby (great) but after it was born it got smaller and smaller until it was only an inch big, then it disappeared. My mother was in the background giving unsolicited advice to all and sundry about babies. I was heartbroken, then woke up. Woke at 11 a.m. feeling unrested.
Dream of having to look after a group of children.
Playing touch rugby against parents - instead of ball have set of tea cups on silver tray, so I am running around with tea cups in my hand instead of a ball.
In one of my dreams this morning, I was in charge of a roller coaster, and responsible for providing space for all the people who wanted a ride. I didn't have enough harnesses to hold them all in and there was this small child and a baby and I had to rig up harnesses for them. I remember watching them coming down and thinking that the harnesses didn't look very safe. I think the baby got its legs chopped off, but I don't know - I couldn't find out.
I was at a function of some sort and the headmistress (who was also a Nun) of my children's school was stood over a collection box, watching just how much was being put in by everybody. The feeling reminded me of my own childhood memories of Nuns at school (fear, retribution, vindictive). I knew I had to put a contribution into the basket but I had no money with me. I feigned putting some money into the basket. It was a deep basket that stood under a table, but even so she still managed to watch what everyone was contributing. I managed to get away with it.
Many dreams dimly remembered - had to look after lots of children, large group of people holding hands.
I had a dream that I was in this department store all night and I had to make sure that the whole gang of children that were with me weren't pinching things and touching things.
I was at work in a vet's practice, not the one where I am now. Some people were the same and some were not. I was sacked from my job for no good reason. Then the vet advised me to have my older cat put down. Before I could discuss it she did it. I was distraught. Crying hysterically and woke crying. I felt as if my life was out of control. Feelings of anger, frustration, very upset.
I was in a vet hospital. Lots of cats kept escaping and I and others were trying to catch them. The dream felt very anxious. (I often dream of cats, it is not unusual for me.)
Dreamt of a large green fish which had learnt to live on land. It came to see me to discuss the problems in this sort of life for a fish, but there were too many journalists, and it had to go away again.
Dreamt of a dog speaking to me about his problems.
Had a dreadful dream about a snake. I was being pressured to do heavy psychotherapy with a man I didn't like - a trainer. I thought the whole thing was dangerous, but went in because lots of people were doing it. A small boy of 8-10 was there. He stuck his tongue out at me, it turned into the most disgusting, slithery snake, pink and revolting, which went for my throat, It wrapped itself around my neck. I can't describe the repulsion I felt, nor the fear at being controlled. I said I repudiated it. The therapist in the dream said its not about sex, this snake, it's about the evil within which must be cleansed. I woke up shouting 'I refuse to accept this snake!' but the feeling stayed. Fear; I had to put the light on - revulsion, horror.
Had a horrible dream: there were some zoo animals on the loose, lions, wolves etc. We decide to take our primary school children among them in the park having found they were quite tame if you treated them sternly, like a dog. I had to find a place to get some earrings, and a local man with a truck was taking me there. But he took me down a ramp to a car park underground, with the truck's lights off and no lighting in the car park. I knew he was going to rape me and that the car lights were off to show that he knew where he was going, he was in charge, he had all the power. I was a helpless victim, pleading with him not to do it (and at the same time wishing that I did have the opportunity to have sex with someone I love). I felt I couldn't escape, but meanwhile there was another one of me upstairs, who knew where I was and what was wrong. Upstairs I was organizing a wolf to track me and the man down and SORT HIM OUT! Then I woke up feeling very tired and worn out.
Dreamt I was in a car accident which ran over my dog, but when I got home he was alive, but a different colour and had a horrible septic state all over his paws and legs, which had taken the fur off, leaving raw flesh. My mum had given him antibiotics, which upset me more than his condition!
Dreamt I came across a nearly dead otter - lots of wounds - covered in blood. Went to get water to bathe it - when came back it was gone - worried that it would come to more harm. A man came up and said he had moved the otter into the shade.
Dream about flies. Lots of fly's eggs mixed in with white rice in the boot of a car. I knew they would hatch out and he was waiting for it to happen. Sense of fear of the swarm of flies. Nearby there was a honeycomb and I knew the flies were going to go to that when they hatched out.
Dreamt of Iguanas. A whole long and complicated dream where the only unifying thing was the constant appearance of iguanas. At the beginning of the dream I was delighted and pleased to see such rare and beautiful wildlife, but they became just a nuisance. When I woke up to write this down I just put 'Bloody Iguanas!' and went back to sleep. I must have been really pissed off at them being in the way.
Dream of a circular tall hole in the side of my tent and it was definitely a wolf that had done it, although I didn't see it doing it.
I encounter a deadly toad which normally bites and kills, but it bites me and I only get a rash, much to the amazement of those around me.
Dream that a giant black dog, six feet long, four feet tall, a man-eater, was on the loose and after us, especially me. Had to climb a fence out of his reach and cling on for dear life as he jumped up to get me, snapping and snarling, catching my hand. Woke with fear of death clutching at my stomach.
Dreamt my bottom teeth came out, and I put them back the wrong way.
Teeth dreams.
I am in a seminar with a group of strangers. Somebody tells me that my hair has turned white on the back of my head, which I hadn't noticed before.
I seemed to dream for hours about drying my hair. (Which is odd because I don't dry it, I just let it dry).
Restless anxious dreams about car tax, teeth and evening classes.
I dreamt of a party, it's my party and lose my (false) teeth. Then the party starts to turn really sour, with people being nasty and thoughtless. It gets worse and worse until the dream is a nightmare.
I dream that I am looking for a toilet as I need to poo. But everywhere I go there is either a very dirty toilet, or one with no lock, or one with people in the cubicles. When I woke up I thought that I must actually need to go to the toilet, so strong was the urge in the dream, but I didn't.
Strong dreams that an old neighbour and I had a huge row while I was supposed to be cleaning his house, about the way I was working. I got very angry and tore him off several strips, feeling very strong about my right to be me and live my life as I wished.
I was supposed to be going somewhere to meet some people to run some kind of training, and I had to be there by 6 o'clock, but on the way I found all these boxes of tampons and I was thinking 'wow, that's really nice, they are unbleached ones'. But then I thought they might be infected because they were out on the street.
I dreamt of the hospital where I work. I am washing the corridors, and am really content to be in such a mindless job... no responsibilities.
A big grey blocks of flats - a friend was living there. The dream moved to a very Indian setting, and I was going into clothes shops.
Dream of shopping in a supermarket - I keep putting things into my basket and then back onto the shelves.
He had a colour printer for his computer, it had no ink. He tried to fill it up with ink and he accidentally dropped the whole tin of ink inside the rollers. To his surprise the printer worked very well after this and he started to print paper money.
Dream; I was in this open supermarket - in Sainsburys, and they were growing wheat-grass and all kinds of sprouts, and I remember thinking oh, that's really cheap, I'll go and really have a healthy diet.
Dream of seeing an old friend and being disturbed that he is so poor. I give him £30 as it is all I have.
Travel, Boats, Trains, Planes, Buses
Dream of an old friend who is piloting a plane in the fog, she does it via instructions on the radio.
A crowd of girls and had a cat in a basket. It was in an airport and we were getting anxious as we couldn't find out any information on our flight. It turned out that we did not have one and were stranded. We were all in a state of shock and did not know what to do.
Dreamt of children's steam trains - stopping to let people go across the level crossing - manual opening and closing of gates.
Dream - that my desk is bigger and constitutes all I need to get by on. I use it as a plane and fly off to a desert setting where I meet Omar Sharif, he calls me a son of a camel, and I can't work out if this is a compliment or not.
I was in a car and there were lots and lots of people in this car and I was driving so I was the only person who had any space. There was a red tricycle, a very vivid shiny bright red that suddenly appeared and I hadn't brought anything to lock it up with. I'd obviously forgotten I'd brought the car to put it in and I was thinking what was I going to do with this bike. We'd gone on this bus ride and I'd just found somebody who would look after it for me and I went outside and it had gone! It had been stolen. All through the dream there were lots of people that I was supposed to be with. I wasn't with them because I was doing some other mystery thing and I couldn't connect with them. Right at the end of the dream it had got dark and quite foreboding and I was trying to find the rest of the group and they had gone off without me. I was checking all these buses and eventually I found the group. My little boy was with them and it was such a relief to see him there.
Dreamt of flying. I was in the New Zealand mountains soaring and playing above the snow, swooping - very white. Sky was very blue. I was playing, being reckless and it was such an amazing feeling. I was on a hang glider, one hand, being reckless - but such a feeling, incredible.
Dreamt a storm had torn all the boats from their moorings and we had to rescue them. Trees were felled by the wind and a trunk had fallen across the hatch entrance to my new boyfriend's boat so he couldn't get out.
Dreams of being in outer space.
Dreams to do with trains and buses. All busy with lots of people around.
He was on a ship, then he was in a rowing boat down by the side of the ship, trying to fish something out of the water with a net.
Waiting at ornate railway station, amazing stonework. All over the front are children clambering, misbehaving, yelling, screaming, throwing balls etc. Have to get connection for a flight, train is late. Have to get train to airport - frustrated, going to miss my connection.
In a cinema with my best friend. Very busy, lots of people about. They were all rushing down some steps. Friend and I got to a bus stop. We found that the fare was £4.80 for a short journey, which was extortionate, so we argued with the driver and refused to pay. I said 'We'll walk', as it was a short distance. Suddenly we were on a tandem bicycle with a bit on the back like a rickshaw. My mum and dad were in the back. We were struggling to pedal up a steep hill and steps. Mum and dad wanted to put a sofa on the back as well, it was impossible! Then I woke up.
Vivid dreams I can't remember. Something to do with boats untied but not moving, bodies of people being organized, me being sought after or in authority.
Walking on a disused railway line which ran to a park where I live.
Film crew from BBC wanting to film in small town called Wallship. It is on the same latitude as Alaska. I was part of film crew. Needed to find cafe/bar to do film. Went to sea front. Saw wooden boat stocked up like a bar. This was perfect. Young couple about to go broke because of tax debts. Had to convince them we could pay more money than they had ever dreamt of. A perfect situation - for them and for us. Like fortune had smiled on them.
Dream; A foreign landscape with unpleasant juxtapositions of images.
I was interviewing a family about their Fatherland being made into an independent country.
Dreamt of a pyramid in the Egyptian desert, which is a range of vivid colours: blue, green, gold and purple, but I can't find the way into it.
It was just like a vision of me being in my body looking at the rooms in this house. The thing that was noticeable about the house was the wood. There was wood everywhere, and floaty white lace. In one room, I think it was the nursery, there was a white lace carpet on the floor. There were West African drummers in some part of that house.
I was making music with three people. I was playing the guitar, an instrument I usually feel uncomfortable with. They were playing a piece, consisting of three parts. The first part, consisting mainly of chords, I managed to play easily, it went fine. The second part did not go so well. I had to play solo, from sheet music, and I usually find this difficult. Then I put my guitar on the ground and played it with my left hand. Not at all logical, but it went fine. I could find exactly the right notes with my left hand.
I had a dream about a party in a log cabin in the middle of a wood and somebody came in with what looked like an African drum, and he was playing a rhythm on it, an eight piece rhythm - and he said that JS taught him and that everybody had to learn it. There were three kind of punky looking guys doing handstands in a row outside the front of the log cabin.
The house that I was organising the renting of had lots of music in it. A modern room, big room, and very beautiful.
I was playing bass guitar, impromptu and pretty badly.
There are three old guys talking about the music they have made, like old blues musicians. One of the records they talk about is Harvest, and they play a few tunes off that album. I think this is weird because that's one of Neil Young's albums.
I was in a large stadium with thousands and thousands of people and I was responsible for laying it out the for the queen. The Queen was to address the crowd but the carpet was late in arriving. I was feeling really comfortable in the stadium with thousands of people. Eventually the carpet was rolled out and I said something to the Queen - a little greeting that I felt a normal person would have responded to favourably.
Dream: huge theatre full of people.
Half remembered dream - I was rehearsing a play with some other people. It was a dress rehearsal, so we were all on stage in front of an audience. My scene involved me talking to an old school friend (someone I haven't seen since I was thirteen). I also had to bounce up and down on a trampoline, I bounced off it by accident and landed on the floor, quite elegantly but people started laughing and I wondered if they thought I was funny or stupid. I felt I wasn't a very good actress.
Dreamt last night that I had to perform a comedy routine, dressed up like a famous person. I decided to wear my long blond wig and be Daryl Hannah. I had to perform in front of a large audience, on a stage and improvise it all.
Dreamt twice that he was in charge of a large meeting which was very chaotic, but he was able to bring order into it.
Having dreams which are very busy. Situations not quite remembered but lots of people in them.
Have been having lots of dreams about groups of people, but don't fully remember them on waking.
Sexual Affairs, Ex-boy/girlfriends, Erotic
Felt very sexually aroused by image of young male child.
In House of Commons and met a man there, he kissed me. Then he started flirting with all the women M.P.'s. I was laughing with him about it. We were in some kind of lunch queue. He was playing one off against another.
Dream of three men with whom I have some kind of intimate relationship.
Dreamt of an old girlfriend who was trying to persuade me to go back to her and to leave my present one. I was miserable that I had to say no because I knew that she would never understand why I would want to go out with someone she would view as dull. When I woke up I was quite unhappy at this dream. I guess because it could still so easily be(come) true.
Dreamt I was about to embark on an affair with a married, middle aged businessman, just for the sex. We didn't do it though because the night passed in carousing with friends.
Funny dream; I dreamt it was some sort of female hormone that I was proving. Sounded like colostrum!
A whole group of us were in a communal dormitory place with loads of beds. I was sharing a bed with my boyfriend and two other women, one of them started playing with his penis and I saw it, but did not react, neither did he, then she got out of bed and went off. I then helped the other woman find her own bed, most of the beds were taken and we had to go around and around the place before finding a free one. She was upset and I was comforting her.
Dream - house-sitting for young couple. The man is good looking and seems attracted to me. Both the couple are intellectual and played the flute.
I dream of an old girlfriend and of my current one. The current one asks me to throw ping-pong balls at her, so I do as she bids. This gives her great pleasure and she laughs and laughs.
I dreamt I was making love.
Dream: was with an old boyfriend in a fast food shop. He and I were naked standing in the queue, it was only slightly embarrassing.
Dreamt that a friend told me a mutual ex-boyfriend had all along been having sex and therefore (sic) we were both at risk from HIV and AIDS.
Normally have amorous dreams, haven't had any since the first night of the proving.
Dreamt of putting a feather into my vagina, which seems absolutely natural in the dream - like something I have to do regularly, although the purpose isn't clear.
Dreamt I had a huge period which flooded wherever I went - beds, clothes, chairs.
I was going through the city and I went through this big round hole, a tunnel. Then I came through into the room that was full of light, it wasn't like a gradual thing where I could see the light, it just suddenly was bright light.
I can see one image from my dream and it's of you and you're not enlarged at all, you're diminished, in fact you're in a niche in a wall and red brick around.
I am standing on the lip of large well/tower. It is made from wood and going down deep into the earth. It is like a tunnel or funnel. Looks like the old French tennis courts with the balconies and terraces.
In most of my dreams, during the proving, I've been actively involved. I'm almost always an onlooker in my dreams and I had that when I was going down the dark tunnel when I was under the sea, which are all quite sometimes got fearful things for me, I wasn't scared at all. It was matter of fact. I was just going along.
Violence, Threatening, Frightening, Fire
Dream; a western adventure, and of being buried alive with a pile gelignite. Very vivid.
Had a dream. I lived in a huge mansion with lots of beautiful antiques and artefacts. It was stuffed full of them. It looked encrusted. Every surface had beautiful things on. Tables with collections of pretty handbags on. It was chunky, solid furniture, but lovely. Collections of things everywhere. There was a huge marble staircase. I remember thinking 'Oh I do live in a lovely place'. I came home and found my husband had hired a young French girl to do the cleaning. He introduced us and I immediately did not trust her, but my husband said that she had worked well. She was very smiling and sweet. I went to bed but went downstairs again to find that she was in a large drawing room, smoking and talking to her boyfriend, who she had smuggled in. He was a 'biker'. This compounded all my suspicions and feelings about her and I felt she was plotting against us. They were out to cheat us. I eavesdropped on them, they did not see me. I went back to bed. In the morning they had disappeared and the whole house had been stripped of the beautiful antiques. Felt cheated, felt I had lost, and angry at myself that I had not insisted to my husband that she left.
We didn't have any food and there were remains of entrails of animals in a corner where we had obviously been eating which was really horrible and everything felt like it was moving in towards us - getting closer and closer and I kind of woke up with this sense of urgency and panic that I had to move fast and that's what woke me up, that feeling of having to get out. Its quite unusual for me to have dreams like that.
Dream: she was on a beach where there was a hotel and she was being pursued by a man and a bird of prey, which was his weapon. Sometimes it was just the bird chasing her. Finally, she had to hide in a toilet to escape the bird. Suddenly she was in her old home town, running along the streets still trying to escape. The feeling was scary, anxious, frightening, it was horrible being pursued.
Dream; went to a party where the place got smashed up. Someone called Lindie kept telling these thugs that I was a friend, but I wasn't and they were looking pretty mean as if they would start to work on me next. It was a very long dream and rather frightening and very vivid. I remember I woke up after it at about am for a pee and felt moved to put the light on as the residual of fear was still lingering.
Dreamt about Pearl Harbour. Feelings of imminent doom and devastation, i.e.. before the Japanese invasion of Singapore. Other people present - black people, and my overall manager! Some people spoke Swahili.
I was an onlooker and there was this medieval army with a red hot battering ram attacking a castle. There were three figures of flame, just human figures which burst into flame of red and orange. It was really, really frightening. And as they were doing it, they were chanting something. It immediately made me regain consciousness and I was left with a feeling of fear. But I wasn't involved, I was definitely watching.
I had a dream this morning. I dreamt that I was sitting across a wooden table with a homoeopathic colleague who said to me, 'you can't come to South America'. Basically, he was saying 'this is my patch and you can't come to my patch', and I got annoyed with him for his attitude and I banged the table with my fists and I said, 'I am going to go if I want to go and this is definitely a large enough place for lots of people including you and me.' He said, 'But you are not going to go, you are a wimp and a coward'. And I got up and walked out of the room in dudgeon. He had a mate who was going to duff me up, he was going to punch me. I realized as I was walking out of the room that I had the choice, either to stay in the room which was safe because there were people in it but then I'd lose face because I'd decided to go out, or to go out and face the danger that he might follow me and duff me up - and I woke up.
I am wanting to die. I feel despair. I'm holding the hand of my partner (like the lovers in the Tarot). We jump in and as we do I lose all feeling and everything becomes slow motion. I am tumbling. As I fall I am smashing my limbs on the walls and roofs in the tunnel. Smashing an arm or leg. I am breaking, but all without feeling. I can see that my partner is already dead, smashed. I am willing myself to die. I want to be impaled or fall across a pole so that my back is broken to end it all. Then I can see the floor coming closer and closer. Tumbling I land on my head and then all is black. I feel nothing through all of this. Then I can hear a voice and feel vaguely something touching my face. Its like I am coming out of anaesthetic. Two voices. I can see M vaguely and he says 'Look at the sepsis on his face'. He is stitching my face and talking to another. I start to howl and howl (but make no noise). I am howling in despair. Then I get to my knees and vomit a piece of flesh. It is red and trembling - not pulsating.
I dreamt of a mass murder.
Dreadful dreams of fear.
Dream of being a policeman and shooting people 'right through the heart'.
I woke out of a dream feeling that half of me was still in the dream. It was quite a violent sort of dream - it was in a house which appeared from the front like the house where I was born and grew up, but inside the rooms were much bigger and there were lots of connecting alleyways and corridors and there were children and animals, it was like a community in this house but I was the only adult and there were gunmen surrounding the house and we were in danger and I felt a great sense of responsibility because I had to somehow gather all these animals and children with me and I knew what I had to do, I had to get them out but it was really difficult and felt really unwieldy because I had to get everyone together to get them to safety.
Wasn't sure if I was the body or was an observer - body was burning from the feet up to the waist and still was talking and very much alive (don't like fire) - could have been me (think it was) or someone else.
I dream of being a top class skier and I get involved in a 'Bond' type movie chase scene.
I dream of sitting my final homoeopathy exams and I haven't done enough studying.
She was with some college friends in a big room doing yoga, they were doing shared postures.
Dream of being in the pub with friends, but the only way we can move about is by walking on the tables and chairs.
Dream of offering guests stones and beads to eat.
I am trying to get into a hospital where I work with a friend. We are using the fire escape to gain access, but there are a range of people coming down and blocking our way. As it's raining I am a bit pissed off at this and say 'It's like the fucking ark here' and then apologize to the people there who have children.
Dreamt that there is a real need to drink more tea. (On waking so thirsty that I had to actually have one.)
There is a Tai Chi teacher, teaching people how to walk across a tightrope.
There was food in my dream, there was somebody selling sandwiches.
A group was out camping in the wilderness and everybody was lying on the ground in sleeping bags and I was given a flashlight. I was running about flashing this flashlight. There was some commotion going on in the tent, an argument, or something.
My dreams are very disconnected. Usually I have one dream from beginning to end, very colourful and a nice story.
My cousin had a very funny pair of pointy shoes, which I thought were really funny and was saying so, when I realised that he liked them, I had to backtrack and say what I thought their good points were.
I am with Ken Livingstone, who is dressed in mourning suit. He is working too hard.
Sensorium Head Sight and Eyes Hearing and Ears Smell and Nose Face Teeth, Gums and Mouth Throat Appetite, Thirst and Desires Scrobiculum and Stomach Abdomen Rectum and Stool Urinary Organs Male Sexual Organs Female Sexual Organs Respiration and Cough Inner Chest and Lungs Heart, Pulse and Circulation Outer Chest Neck and Back Upper Limbs Lower Limbs Limbs in General Sleep Time Temperature, Weather and Perspiration Attacks and Periodicity Sensations Skin
I had a very faint feeling on the top of my head, which I attributed to equally to sitting in the sun which I don't usually do but there was a faint discernible feeling as well as if something was scratching.
Evening: vertigo after lying down, as if room turns round.
Slight vertigo when getting out of car.
Vertigo on rising in morning.
Vertigo in evening on lying down, and on rising after having laid down... walking as if drunk.
Slight vertigo and floating sensation.
Slight vertigo on lying down to sleep.
Evening: vertigo on lying down - as if whole body is turning around. Dizziness on sitting up in bed.
Feeling of 'cotton wool' in his head, slight vertigo. Difficulty concentrating.
Dizzy on getting up in morning.
Dizziness, slight vertigo after rising.
Dizziness on rising, esp. on leaning on the left arm. Dizziness in forenoon, with sensation of heaviness in eyes.
A slight dizzy feeling going upwards, uplifting really.
Strange feeling of instability in the head, on looking at child on a swing turning round. The same feeling on looking into a mirror.
By the afternoon kept getting light headed, feeling a bit giddy. I'm sure its due to lack of sleep.
I have a raging headache, a bursting feeling across the forehead, pain which goes over the whole of the scalp and down to the back of the skull and then digs into the neck. My glands hurt and so do my ears
Sweaty forehead and back of neck.
Right sided headache behind eye down into neck.
Head feels a bit wobbly.
Woke with headache in right side of teeth, nose and forehead.
I experienced sharp stabbing pains left of centre top of head.
Have a bad headache in left temple.
Woke at 7.30 a.m. with horrible frontal headache and nausea. Headache lasted to 1.30 a.m. (next morning).
Woke with a headachy feeling, lasted till p.m.
Throbbing pain in right temporal bone area.
Stabbing pain above my left eye. Violent pain.
Woke up with piercing, intermittent pain in right cranium - disappeared by midmorning.
Sensation of flu in head on left side, also in neck on left side.
After smoking his usual cigarette in the evening a very heavy feeling in his head.
Terrible constant headache throughout proving. Congestive, pulsating sometimes. Band around the head at the level of the eyes.
Immediate reaction to remedy: sensation of swelling in upper part of the head - as if head is blown up like a balloon through the nostrils, lying on the left side.
Before headache sense of well-being and relaxed.
Very itchy eyes.
On waking left eye discharging yellow creamy fluid - horrid.
I had a sore left eye for the last couple of weeks and now it is better.
Left inner canthus was red and swollen.
Left eye very watery, clear, instead of being crusty.
Left eye very itchy deep inside, wanted to scratch it right behind the eye ball.
Left eye lid very itchy.
Right eye watery.
Wakes with puffy eyes.
My left eye has been watering.
Eyes feel very dry.
Eyes itch really badly.
Later that night, my left contact lens clouded over and there was quite a lot of yellow matter coming out of the side. When I later cleaned the contact lens the actual substance was inside the lens, underneath. Normally when it clouds over it is on the top. The next morning when I woke up my eye was still crusty, yellow crusts. Today it was not quite so bad.
Very itchy left eyelid.
Right eye really sensitive, could not touch it.
I had a sore left eye that's also itchy. It feels like it should be sticky but actually it isn't.
I had an ache in my left eye, an almost stabbing ache just around and above the left eye.
Buzzing in ears.
Sore spot inside left ear.
I suffer from tinnitus, which has been much worse lately.
Buzzing in ears and ringing.
Ears suppurating quite a lot, dirty yellowish, quite foul, although I cannot smell it myself.
Buzzing ears 11.00 p.m..
When yawns right ear pops and is slightly painful/sensitive/fragile.
I've had less catarrh since taking the remedy and my ears, which usually are stopped up, are clearer.
Slight ache in ear as if starting a cold.
Bad hayfever, sneezing.
Nose is sore.
I had a sensation of tingling in my left nostril, as if space dust was in there.
Hayfever started to come back while dusting.
Slight runny nose - clear.
Woke 7.00 a.m. - sudden nosebleed left nostril.
Hayfever, worse coffee, bread, croissants, gin and tonic.
Evening: fluent discharge from left nostril with sneezing, later obstruction.
Clear discharge from left nostril.
Sore right nostril inside and out. Infected spot, very red and swollen. Throbbing pain.
Woke this morning, sneezed, and blood started gushing out of my nose. A real high powered nosebleed. It persisted on and off all day.
Pustules on ridge of nose - bled a lot if knocked and left a little dip.
Itchy nose, eyes, ears, sneezing.
Nostrils worse, especially the left. Cracking and crusts forming.
Itching nose on the left side.
Nosebleed, left nostril.
Nose watering, both nostrils.
Nose tingly and blocked but no real discharge.
Cold like symptoms.
Nose is badly bunged with tough, spiky, sticky, painful snot. It adheres to the sides of the nose.
It was better at night but this was because I was asleep. When I was asleep my breathing was very easy. Finally calmed down. As soon as I woke, I could feel my nose getting itchy and blocked, then the sneezing. Sneezing is very exhausting.
Intermittent nosebleed. When it's not bleeding it is very bunged up and very sticky.
Nose felt stopped on waking, worse in the right nostril.
Had hayfever symptoms on waking, runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing, itching eyes.
Sudden pouring out of left nostril, followed by sneezing.
Sneezy, tickly sensation in left nostril.
Sudden nosebleed left nostril only, bright red blood.
Clear coryza. Worse everything. Worse change of temperature, even walking from shade to direct sunlight, I would sneeze violently. Every time I would immediately get shivery, goosebumpy.
My nose is sore to touch and has started to peel.
Sneezing, clotted blood and snot. Sneezing is very painful.
Right nostril burning and sneezy.
Sneezing fit at 10.00 p.m..
Two red spots on cheekbones. They weren't painful and had no head but there was one on either side surrounded by a cluster of small ones.
I had a lot of jaw clench.
Upper left jaw bone feels bruised, as if hit.
Numb feeling around the mouth.
Spot on my left cheek a bit like a mosquito bite, a sort of raised lump surrounded by a patch of redness, it came at 3 p.m. and was gone by 7.00 p.m., painless.
Had a sudden shooting/stabbing pain in the left jaw/sinus area.
Very small red raised pimples and little white pustules.
I have developed some spots on my face, they are headless, red and painless. Initially they looked like a rash but they quickly separate into smaller spots. They are high up on my cheeks and the left side is worse.
Large red spots below left nostril, on face and neck.
Cold sores on upper lip, they are weeping a sticky fluid.
I have had a chalk spot on my left cheek high up near my eye for a few years, and today it has got very red and a little bit sore, it looks as though it is a normal spot. It just disappeared overnight.
Rash on face, aggravated by heat (been a very hot day). Worse on chin, both cheeks and either side of neck. It is stinging, red and very dry. Interspersed white pustules.
A strange spot with discharge on my top lip, on the right side most noticeably. Painless but quite large with a discharge that resembles the one in my nose, it is sticky and tough, my nose is still painful to touch.
Acne, worse on lower lip, left side.
Woke with blocked left sinus. It has obviously affected my sinuses.
Itchy rash on the right side of her chin. Red, hot and raised. She has noticed that it has now come up all over her face and feels it is worse since drinking half a pint of beer.
Headache in my teeth which travels around nose, eye and forehead, all on the left side.
The gum/palate on the left side top jaw feels throbbing and full (rather as though I was developing sinusitis). It did not come to anything, just turned into a general soreness.
Teeth feel loose and squidgy in sockets (bottom front).
Pains in upper left incisor as if exposed to cold air.
Pain in gum upper left side, painful to touch.
Blisters or aphtae in mouth, on the gums all along bottom teeth.
Teeth are sore, very sensitive to the cold, have a big mouth ulcer, upper left inside jaw.
Sensation as if a small ping pong ball was in the throat or as if uvula was too large, it didn't obstruct breathing but swallowing was slightly harder, it lasted for half an hour and was not painful.
Glands swollen on both sides of my neck.
Woke with a dry raw throat.
I have developed a really awful sore throat just below the Adam's apple and it is making swallowing difficult, this is a typical precursor to getting a cold.
I woke with a dry throat in the morning, but it was very temporary.
Her patient asked her, 'Have you got a nasty cold?' because she had a 'coldy voice'. A sticky voice. Had a frog in the throat that you have to clear. Mucus and sticky.
My throat is very dry and I kind of had to clear it a lot, especially at night.
Throat very dry, sore! Worse at night.
Throat sore around 4.00 p.m..
Lump in throat sensation on swallowing. Painful, aching.
Dry throat and occasional tickly cough.
Dry throat.
I had an aggravation of catarrhal symptoms which I usually have low grade to high grade; a constant collection of mucous in the back of my throat from posterior nares so I've had to sleep propped up. This morning my throat was temporarily sore until I cleared all the stuff out.
Sore throat, swallowing anything is difficult but empty swallowing is the hardest of all. It feels as though there was something tangible that is stopping me from swallowing.
A pain as if I had been hit on the back of my neck on the left side.
I had a very sore throat and thought I would become feverish but that didn't happen.
Slightly dry in my throat but what I noticed was I wear a lot of turtlenecks and they feel too tight.
Slight sore throat mainly left sided in the morning, moved to right side in the afternoon.
I had a real build up of clear mucous in my throat.
Blob of phlegm in the back of the throat.
7.00 a.m. sore throat, by 3.30 p.m. I can hardly speak my throat is so sore. Swallowing takes a real effort of will and hurts like blazes. It feels like the top of a tin can is stuck in my throat and is rotating and cutting into the throat. My glands hurt and so do my ears.
Very dry and parched, especially at night. Choking, sip water all the time - Unusual.
Sore throat left side at 2.00 p.m., better for hot drinks.
Tickling in throat.
Pustules also came up on neck right side over parotid gland.
Throat dry and raw.
His appetite has been not so much as usual.
Drinking a lot more water.
So dry having to drink.
Strong urges for sweet things, goodies.
Desires fizzy drinks and bitter lemon (after nausea and vomiting).
I initially didn't want to drink but I forced myself. Usually in a situation like that its an excuse to get over the top but I didn't.
She has had a great desire for sweets. After lunch yesterday she really wanted something sweet. (This is unusual, very occasionally she might desire something sweet in the evening, but not at lunch time).
Appetite increased. Continually hungry, and drinking more.
Felt thirsty for something cold and refreshing.
Much less thirsty.
No appetite all day.
She has been feeling hungry in the mornings.
Twice, this morning and yesterday, he has woken up at 5.30ish very hungry, but he didn't want to get up and eat, he wanted to sleep - but he was wide awake both times.
Not hungry.
Feel as though I were full up after a large meal when in fact I have hardly eaten anything. At tea time I feel so full up that I don't have a meal, just a small bowl of ice-cream.
I am still very hungry all the time. I got very drunk and I wouldn't normally get that drunk on that amount of wine - I really felt very drunk for a while.
I've been a real pig, want lots of sweets and milk.
Very strong craving for fish. Bought salmon fillet and grilled it and ate it with salad, still had diarrhoea. Strange craving!
Hungry at 11.00 p.m..
Last night was hungry one and a half to two hours after eating, and this seems to be the pattern.
Very thirsty but no greater urination.
Craving for smoked salmon and watercress salad - watery?
Wakes very hungry.
Strong desire to eat sweets.
Desires chips, tomato sauce, peaches, ice-cream and chocolate.
Stomach ache on waking, coming in waves ongoing until 2.00 p.m.. Not effected by eating.
Stomach ache on waking.
Stomach sore with twinges in epigastrium.
Heartburn.
He ate a big breakfast and felt it was sitting in his stomach.
Sudden sharp pain in left side of groin.
Cramps in abdomen before stool.
Abdominal muscles and region over lower ribs feel bruised all day long, sensitive to touch, pressure and motion.
Very sharp lancinating pain in the abdomen, bent double with pain, left sided.
Before going to sleep in evening, in bed, Thursday night, felt hungry and had sharp pains, shooting about in her trunk.
Tension in the groin.
Terrible colic, bloated stomach and wind - had got really cross with someone that night.
Whole abdomen starts to glow with warmth.
Morning, a bruised, sharp pain down left hip into the groin.
Mid morning, whilst sitting, sudden sharp shooting pain started in left abdomen. Shot across to right. Could not straighten up, but suddenly there was a release and it disappeared.
Pulling sensation in left lower abdomen.
Evening: pains in hypogastrium with a pinching sensation.
Sensation of abdominal muscles overstrained.
Lancinating pain in the kidneys.
Evening: had a discharge from navel - yellow, horrible smell.
Aching across the abdomen especially on right side.
Ache in abdomen in the afternoon with wind and belching.
A lot of flatus with distension.
Sensation of involuntary evacuation of rectum in the evening.
Incredibly painful bowel movement. Anus feels raw, although stool is not dry or hard to expel.
Itching in rectum in the evening.
Two major bowl movements, usually I only have one.
Lots of wind and involuntary stool.
Anus feels sore as if fissured.
Anal soreness.
Evening: frequent urge for stool with no or very scanty evacuation.
I feel as though I am going to get diarrhoea, this proves not to be the case.
Had a horribly constipated stool I couldn't complete, now my anus is sore, some bleeding.
Slightly dry stool in the evening.
Diarrhoea in the afternoon.
Sudden cramping colic in stomach. Normal stool immediately, followed by watery stool. Cramping pain gone. Strawberries perhaps?
Diarrhoea in the evening.
Sudden diarrhoea.
Very dry stool, hard to pass, some remained in rectum.
Wanted to urinate a lot, bursting to go and when I do the relief is wonderful.
Tenderness in my penis after urination.
Woke at 12.30 p.m. and had to get up for an enormous wee.
Great pain for an hour and a half with frequent urination.
Since midday passing copious amounts of orange brown urine.
At about midday I notice that I am wanting to urinate all the time, but there is nothing there. This sensation gets worse and worse until I feel that I have cystitis. Uncomfortable, worse from pressure on my genital area and even worse from pressure on my stomach.
Cystitis.
No sexual desire.
No libido.
A constant pain which develops in my penis like it was being cut inside with razor blades, the only time I feel comfortable is when I am actually urinating.
Still a little tenderness in my penis after urinating, no interest in sex.
Spots appear on penis at the end on the left side, a little painful, quite red and a head which discharges sticky white puss if gently squeezed. The spot stays red and painful for 9 days and then a load of white yellow pus is squeezed out, after which it clears up.
Sex drive very low, really can't be bothered.
Disinterested in sex and do not have my customary morning erection.
When my period had begun and I felt so wiped out on the second day.
5.00 p.m. my period began. It was after 28 days. My cycle is usually 27 days.
Menses lasted three and a half days, which is shorter than normal. It had been a 'short sharp period'.
Woke at 3.30 a.m. with violent dysmenorrhoea.
It felt like it was exploding, sort of bubbling up - right side ovarian.
1.00-2.00 a.m. woke with severe stomach cramps. Kept her awake for hours. The pains were in spasms, that would build up and ease off.
Since having a constitutional remedy she has had lots of very, very watery pink leucorrhea. After the proving remedy it cleared up. It has now come back but is bland and yellow.
Right ovarian ache. (Usually have an ache before a period but not beginning period now).
Period heavy, flooded the bed. Profuse red blood with black clots.
Period: apart from the second day, it was not as heavy as usual and shorter.
Just after the proving I had ovarian pain, both sides and it continued through the evening.
Felt like making love today -did! First time since taking remedy.
Libido is not there. Don't seem to fancy husband sexually.
Woke at 3.30 a.m. with what felt like a violent dysmenorrhoea and I am not menstruating. I got up to pee and it didn't make much difference.
After dancing and drinking wine had asthma symptoms. Unusual. Can't understand why, as I was outside with no smoke, etc.. It didn't worry me, although my chest was quite bad.
This afternoon I had my first ever asthma attack after being in a smoky pub, tight chest, wheezing, hard to breathe, shallow breaths, diffuse chest pain.
Was woken in the night with a tickly cough.
Coughing at 2.00 p.m..
I had a sensation on the breast bone as if I had been punched, a sense of oppression.
Horrible feeling in chest; if I bang it with my hand I belch and it feels better.
Evening: tightness in chest, left side.
Heart beating very strongly again, more like palpitations.
At night: palpitations and dyspnoea. The following day: heart pounding in the chest, pressure on the chest, feeling of suffocation. After supper: heart pounding again.
Doctor says blood pressure a bit high.
As though somebody had suddenly poked a pencil under my ribs on the left side, just under my breast, on the left side.
Breast pains when I woke up, coughing, and felt very dry - still feel raw and dry.
After three weeks she developed a lump in her left breast. This lump was removed surgically after a biopsy, because it was 'pre-cancerous'.
Lancinating kidney pains and pains in sacro-lumbar region.
Lower back ache, really noticeable today.
And the odd thing is that I was lying on my back and normally I don't lie on my back, especially in a tent where it's bloody hard, and normally I lie on my side. I actually felt very comfortable lying on my back, which is really unusual.
With the period came a horrible pain in my neck (left side) as if sprained or like when you are poorly and your glands come up. It was palpable, this knotted sinew in the left side. It was almost gone the next day.
Pain in lower sacro iliac region, internal and external, both sides worse for stooping and sensations tingling piercing pains, worse in morning.
He has tension in the neck, a bit more than usual.
Stiffness between the right scapula and the spine, which went away the next day.
Back of neck felt very prickly.
During the first minutes of proving, I felt a tightening around my throat, but it's been fine since then.
The image I had during the remedy was like a rope around my neck and a definite feeling of some constriction; hanged man.
The left hand side of my back and down my left leg is usually quite tired and sore, and is much looser than it normally is and doesn't feel so achy.
I have often had a sacral back pain on my left side and it feels dislocated and that has come back again, whereas that's been gone for along time.
I couldn't bear a necklace.
Left shoulder blade painful. Pains in lower back sacro-iliac region.
I ache all over, especially my knees, thighs and back.
I had a painless boil which erupted on my left shoulder.
Right hand hot and left hand cold.
Pain in left wrist on clenching fist.
4.00 p.m. pain in right arm.
Lame feeling in arms below the elbows.
My right hand was really burning and my left hand was very cold. No, it was the other way; sorry.
My right hand was very hot and my left hand was quite cool.
Numbness of hands on waking, especially last two fingers, both hands.
Strong crushing pain in second joint, left thumb lasted two hours, around 11.00 a.m..
Slight sensation of tingling in left arm, after midnight slight tingling in left palm, sensation as if palm cut which lasted for a few minutes.
Discomfort in left hip a couple of hours after taking remedy.
Funny pains in the left toes. Rheumatic, nervy, crampy pains.
Back, lower lumbar, and calf muscles very aching today. On my feet a long time at work.
On waking up, cramp like pain in left thigh, worse for movement. At midday very weak, 'wobbly' knees.
Pain in right knee at 4.00 p.m., worse for motion bending forwards, lasts for 2 hours.
Legs feel very heavy.
Legs ache, inner thigh, groin.
Hot legs in bed.
Left leg, two insect bites, inner thigh on waking up.
Left knee trembling.
Left knee feels much warmer than right knee.
Evening: sudden pain in right knee as if dislocated. Later similar pain in right ankle joint, short duration.
Raw sensation on the back of right knee, as if grazed. Rheumatic pains in same knee in afternoon.
Pustules also came up on legs (later seemed to work their way down).
Faint sharp pain in left sciatic nerve, did not radiate down.
Around 10.00 p.m. whilst sitting, sudden sharp stabbing pain in the toes of my left foot. Only lasted seconds.
Noticeable pain in left leg. Strong toothache type ache from the knee downwards.
Rash on the left leg, inner calf in a big patch.
I had a funny sensation in my left knee, just sore internally in my left side.
Slight pain in left hip.
Pain in right foot.
Spots came up down both shins, just inside shins, red spots.
I have a very severe sciatic pain on my left side. It reaches from the top of the thigh to the knee, and a little below this. I am not afraid of the pain because it is a familiar one from years ago. It restricts my movement initially, but eases with gentle motion. I long for a hot bath to ease the pain more.
Itching of toes of right foot, smallest toe and third and fourth.
Pain in right knee coming on at 4.00 p.m. Right foot feels cold.
Cramp in my right calf.
A deep pain in the toes of the left foot, a bit like cramp or the searing pain of when you stub a toe.
Sudden cramps in calves of both legs while sitting.
In bed at night left knee burning hot but not the right. Usually both together.
Tension and weakness in thighs and bottom from sitting, have to move around every 20-30 minutes.
Bites on left leg, very itchy.
Stiffness on getting out of bed, especially in left shoulder, left arm and left leg.
Numbness of fingers and toes on waking.
Feels much more energy in all his limbs. Not heavy anymore, as they used to be.
I woke up this morning and yesterday morning with profuse sweat in my palms and my feet and more so last night than tonight; less so this morning than the previous morning, but it was really noticeable and strange.
Numbness; feet and hands on waking (as if fallen asleep). Strange feeling in lower legs and back after kneeling on the floor, like a dull pricking; long duration.
Waking up most mornings feeling tightly closed, and my shoulders ache, as if I've been too tight. Curled up in tight ball.
Slept well, woke feeling tired.
Slept very badly; anxious. Woke very early.
Sleeping in a lot in the last week.
Slept like a log.
Very tired this afternoon, slept from 2.00 till 3.00 p.m..
Very deep sleep - dead.
Woke at 7.30 a.m. with horrible frontal headache and nausea, having dreamt.
I never lie on my back usually, but two nights in a row I have done. I sleep on my left side. I have been restless like a leaf tossed around.
I slept very well. Really, really deep sleep. But this morning, I woke at 4.00 a.m. and thought it was the end of the night. It must be the morning, but it wasn't. I quickly went back to sleep again.
Woke up late, really overslept, - unusual.
Very good sleep. Feels great. Went for a two hour run in the morning.
Woke early, about 6.30 a.m..
Couldn't sleep after 2.00 a.m. - too hyped up.
Wakes completely out of it, normally up and running at 6.30 a.m..
I had a restless night - I slept well but restless.
Monday morning - woke up with left arm above head, sleeping on my back with right leg bent and left leg straight. Right leg is bent opened out - semi-lotus position? Never woken up like this - odd.
I had a very restless night.
I tossed around a lot at night but I feel remarkably well. Normally that would flatten me but I feel as if I have more energy.
Woke up at 8.00 a.m. on my back. Fell asleep again and woke at 10.00 a.m. - unusual for me to sleep late.
I went back to an old sleep position which is unusual. I usually can't sleep on my back because of my hip and I slept all night on my back. My arms were right behind my head again, and had gone completely numb. It is an old position.
Sleeping deeply despite a lot of stress, usually get really anxious.
I had a very strong desire to go to sleep.
Woke feeling very heavy and very tired, and very stiff, unusual. Almost like I was ill.
Slept in until 10.00-11.00 a.m..
Getting off to sleep more quickly. Usually slow getting off to sleep.
Tired and grotty all day. 4.30-5.00 p.m., lay down for 5 minutes and was then fine all evening.
We all said how we felt tired earlier than usual.
Great night's sleep except for a dream which woke me up and I was crying.
I woke at 5.30 a.m. which is an unusual time for me to wake. No reason for it other than possibly the remedy. And I was well and truly awake for about one hour, then went back into sleep again for an hour. That's a bit unusual.
My sleep was different on the first night of the proving. I felt still very awake at midnight whereas usually I go to sleep at 11.00 p.m.. I woke up at 6.30 a.m. and I was just completely awake. I just got up. Usually I sleep until 9.00 a.m..
When asleep have to put arms behind knees - on my side curled up even more than usual. Hands under my knees curling up tighter. (Would normally sleep lightly curled on side).
Sleep position, scrunched.
Felt shattered and sweaty on waking.
I woke up at 4.00 a.m. this morning and that is very unusual for me, but what is unusual is that I couldn't get to sleep for at least an hour; I was awake between 4.00 a.m. and 5.00 a.m. and that is unusual.
Tremendous difficulty waking, children and husband the same.
Slept very deeply. No dreams.
I woke up which is not unusual, but I felt very anxious and panicky and I coughed and had a very strange hard cough.
On my back again, lefts spread apart and hands above head. Never ever woken in that position. Felt so relaxed, so fantastic.
Find it difficult getting up, feel shattered.
Woke on back.
Slept badly, worrying about new boyfriend getting enough sleep.
Sleeping on back with arms above/under head - very strange. Never done this before.
It's not unusual for me normally, but I had a very restless night and it is unusual for me to wake early when I have a restless night. So I woke out of a dream.
I woke at 6.00 a.m..
Tired in morning, tired after 2.00 p.m..
Tired in evening.
Very tired 4.30-5.00 p.m..
Very tired in afternoon, 3.00-4.00 p.m..
Very tired, 2.00-3.00 p.m..
Very tired, 9.00 p.m..
Woke feeling tired and heavy. Felt energetic and jolly until after lunch, energy rose again at 5.00 p.m..
Tired 2.00-3.00 p.m..
Tired again, but not as much as previous days (morning), 4.00-5.30 p.m., real low energy again, feel dreamy and heavy.
Tired all morning, after lunch (1.00 p.m.), then tired again at 4.30 p.m. better after a snack.
Suddenly very tired at 12.00-1.00 p.m..
11 a.m. felt very heavy. Tired by 3.00 p.m., energy improved late evening.
Tired in afternoon, 4.00-5.00 p.m..
Feels very shivery.
Felt chilly.
Very chilly, afternoon. 6.00 p.m. felt ill, oppressed, hot, slow, better lying.
Very hot, suffocative feeling, doing the housework; sweaty, clammy, smelly.
Very shivery again, lasting all day.
Chilly in afternoon.
Copious perspiration under arms in the evening.
Gastro-enteritis completely prostrated, very feverish, disturbed night.
Felt muggy on waking. Stiff and aching like flu. Feel awful, like I'm coming down with something. Lay down on sofa and dozed - feel chilly, feel like snuggling. Very tired and muggy and ill better in the afternoon.
Left-sidedness.
I played football with A and I also played with the left foot.
I hurt my toe on my left side.
Noticed that, when I was playing football, I was kicking with my left foot which I never would have done usually.
Felt a general left sidedness.
Sensation as if I had a tightening rope around my neck and that I was being pulled upwards.
Sensation of being intoxicated, of being stoned - it felt like I was just going up on acid - like the beginning of a trip. Sensation of going into nowhere, into nothingness.
Internal trembling - shaky feeling of whole body.
Felt a very strong sensation in my brain, like a movement, like a vibration, inside the cerebellum, felt like waves undulating in the top of my brain. It felt like my brain was rearranging itself, that it was settling in a new position, felt as if it were moving against the skull, if it were a cat it would be nestling itself.
A physical sensation which followed after about 20 minutes of slightly shaky over the whole of my body and I just got a tingly sort of feeling here and there.
Did have feeling of great relaxation in my body, felt easy in my joints and in mood - that's how I was, more relaxed.
Sensations; tingling, piercing pains.
Sensation of things coming out. Sensation of things undulating - as if the grass was undulating, like wind blowing on a field of corn.
Sensation of flying gently, of floating, of being uplifted.
Sensation of love and companionship for everyone. Sensation of plonking my feet in the ground, of being grounded.
Sensation of growth, of blossoming.
On the first night I woke up at 3.30 a.m. and was very itchy.
Skin rash on right buttock.
Skin rash on front of thighs, red, lasting two days
Weak and shaky with bilious attack.
Tiredness predominates - absolutely prostrated and very foggy.
Exhausted, out of proportion, concentration difficult.
Felt oppressed, hot, slow better lying down.
Eventually felt better after stool and urination.
Feeling very tired. Worked 8.30 a.m. to 5.00 p.m. Could easily nod off.
Feeling of restlessness, with sensation as if he had flu.
I felt quite shaky on taking the remedy - wanted to lie down, took a huge effort to sit there still.
Feel well though I do feel slower than my usual pace.
Stiff on waking.
Flu like sensation.
Feel very tired but more relaxed.
Feel very heavy and tired until about 12.00 p.m..
Very slow, not able to rush around.
Signs of a cold, stiffness, tiredness, sore throat.
I felt really drugged this morning - really sluggish like I'd been drugged, really deep.
Tired this morning, don't feel like getting up. Lounged around all day, didn't feel like doing anything.
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